Poll for Fish Medicine -research

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!     Please answer the poll to the left corner of my blog.  You can pick multiple answers.  Please feel free to comment or share any stories on this post in the comment section at the bottom !!   Thank you in advance!!  There will be more surveys to follow!!

I am starting to work on the chapter Fish Medicine from my book Fish Medicine.  This is the BIG chapter as it talks about the actual process my daughter and  I went through trying to get the hospital to give my mother a natural supplement that was GRAS (generally recognised as safe)  approved by the FDA.  This supplement called beta 1/3 1/6 glucan is an immune booster.  We also found in our extensive research that there were studies showing it conducive to radiation exposure, septic, post surgery, all in which my mother had been exposed to or thatshe was suffering from.

Of course we went  through many hurdles.  After  writing letters,  many talks with MANY doctors as well as  specialists in the field of natural medicine, including herbologists.  Hours upon hours of research and only finding information that proved through clinical studies that this supplement was not only safe but indeed would have inhibited the pseudomona infection.  This is what in the end, after 8 surgeries ended up killing my mother. The pseudomona infection has a VERY high MORTALITY rate and is being addressed by the CDC in healthcare settings.  The problem with the infection is that it does not respond to most antibiotics.  Especially if the patient has been on antibiotics for any  given period of time.  The third  antibiotic given to my mother for the pseudomona put a huge hit on her kidney and she went into renal failure and then death.  This third antibiotic was only the third treatment for the pseudomona infection. My mother had been on several antibiotics during her 60 days in ICU.  She was usually on two at a time for most of her stay.

The beta glucan was shown to have a high success rate and even more powerful than antibiotics.  The biggest problem we ran into is that most of the highly conclusive studies were in other countries, which for some reason made a difference to the doctors that we were dealing with. Honestly, I know how Big Pharma works and in this particular case, it was not on our side.   Through the tons of research I have done  on drugs approved by the FDA and the BIG PHARMA drug trafficking  it is incredibly sad to think that big money takes such a higher precedence over the life of a human being.

Thank you for taking part in my poll.

I AM that I AM!

I was once told that the most powerful words you can say  are  I AM.  I never got it until one day it was like a light bulb went on in my head.... opening up my third eye and my crown chakra at the same time!   WHOOOO HOOOO!

Of course we have the theological version when God spoke to Moses when Moses wanted to know his name.   Kabbalists believe that this  esoteric information given by God is proof of God's divine nature. I think that  to be true!    :)

For me-  it seemed  all my life I was looking for ...the  'who am  I'  answer.  Then I realized that the answer was right in front of my face my whole life.  I AM that I AM!  This was when I woke up to the fact that  I was not seperate from my Creator,  or any other living thing on this planet or in the  Universe, nor will I ever be!

I do know one thing... the road to this realization did not come easy.  But it was SOOOOOO worth it!  

In the days, months, and years to come, I will never forget I AM that I AM!  

Happy blessed Friday!  

Word of the Week

a·me·lio·rate

əˈmēlyəˌrāt/

verb

1. make (something bad or unsatisfactory) better.

   "the reform did much to ameliorate living standards"

   
   

   synonyms:

   improve, make better, better, make improvements to, enhance, help, benefit,boost, amend; relieve, ease, mitigate;  informaltweak, patch up

4 months Today

It is four months today since we buried our momma.  I am honoring her on this day...because she was a true VETERAN of  Motherhood.  She was always there for her children.  She fought for her children. She was loyal to her children.  She was strong for her children.  She never turned her back on her children NO MATTER what.  There were times when she was not treated with respect by her children and NO MATTER what she never abandoned them.   EVER!  She always forgave and she held steadfast in her unconditional LOVE.

I honor my beautiful mother today with a GOLDEN HEART... for being the best  mother for over 50 years!  

Thank you Mother for everything you taught me.  Thank you Mother for supporting me in all my crazy endeavors!  Thank you for LOVING me.  THANK YOU FOR BEING MY  MOTHER!

My Mother was my rock.
I honor her with a
Golden Heart
 on this Veteran's Day
11/11/2014
xxxooo

Creativity and divinity :)

I love autumn!  It brings me such joy.  Being a fall baby I know that this is my season.  I love driving this time of year.  It is amazing how the trees turn a plethora of colors, then they become bare and naked until they rebirth in the spring.  What a PROCESS...and it is so natural.  Just like our creativity.  It is a natural thing.  It is part of our divinity.  In the book "The Artist's Way" she talks about the Basic principles. Here are a few:

• We are , ourselves,   creation. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.
• Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy, pure creative energy.
• It it is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity!
• Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move towards our dreams, we move towards our divinity.

                          Create a fabulous Fall day!  

My New ONLINE Journal!

I found an excellent online diary/journal! It is called Penzu!  It is  Fabulous! I already have three chapters started!!!! So a total of four chapters in the works. If you write daily/journal - this is the perfect platform! I love to share good things!  It even keeps track of the number of words per chapter!!
Here is the LINK to Penzu! It is free!

This journal is free or you can upgrade to PRO for 19.99 a year......still a rockin deal!
I am using the free version, but if I need to upgrade I most certainly will without even a thought!!

Here are the chapters I have started so far:
60 Days in the Hole (transferred from MS WORD to Penzu)
The Real Fallen Cowgirl
The Dead Dragonfly
Peace in the Valley

I am also using the journal to store notes and thoughts.  I have been able to access Penzu from my windows and I need to do some upgrades on my moms iphone so i can download the Penzu app.

I am really moving on this book!  I have been so inspired and my muses are kicking ass right now! :)

HAPPY FULL MOON!

My Creativity Heals MY Self and Others

In the book "The Creative Way" by Julia Cameron there are weekly exercises  and affirmations.

Today's affirmation is
 'My creativity heals my self and others.'  This is my mantra today!

My favorite quote for today is
"The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels."
-Hazrat Inayat Khan

I believe that writing Fish Medicine is so conducive to my healing process.  I often think about little snapshots of my life that I will incorporate into my book.  Those snapshots are moments of joy, sorrow, and segments of tiny moments that shaped who I am.  It is quite enlightening actually.  While I do not dwell in the past, I do take short visits.  They are refreshing and moving for the most part. My  words are flowing onto the pages.  My Momma is very proud of me!!

Today I am allowing myself to nurture the artist within.  I LOVE THAT!!!

                           HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY GIRL HARMONY JADE!!!

Blessed Samhain ~ Day of the Dead

Hubby and I  are going to chill at the cabin this weekend. I have an event tomorrow night in amador city at Deja Vu. Saturday and Sunday we are just going to do smal little projects. Nothing big. I am going to create my Day of the Dead altar and work on Fish Medicine.

 The Day Of the DEAD Day of the Dead (Spanish: Día de Muertos) is a Mexican holiday observed throughout Mexico and around the world in other cultures. The holiday focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. It is particularly celebrated in Mexico where the day is a bank holiday. The celebration takes place on October 31, November 1 and November 2, in connection with the triduum of Allhallowtide: All Hallows' Eve, Hallowmas, and All Souls' Day.[1][2] Traditions connected with the holiday include building private altars called ofrendas, honoring the deceased using sugar skulls, marigolds, and the favorite foods and beverages of the departed, and visiting graves with these as gifts. They also leave possessions of the deceased. Scholars trace the origins of the modern Mexican holiday to indigenous observances dating back hundreds of years and to an Aztec festival dedicated to the goddess Mictecacihuatl. The holiday has spread throughout the world. In Brazil Dia de Finados is a public holiday that many Brazilians celebrate by visiting cemeteries and churches. In Spain there are festivals and parades and, at the end of the day, people gather at cemeteries and pray for their dead loved ones. Similar observances occur elsewhere in Europe, and similarly themed celebrations appear in many Asian and African cultures. (Wikipedia)

The video I created in honor of my madre.

My Momma

I AM One with my Book~

Develop an unshakable allegience with someone or something. Cherie Carter Scott- Ph.D.

I am forming an unshakable allegience with Fish Medicine. I am reading, researching, and finishing up MY CHAPTER- 60 Days in the Hole. On the 12th of November I will be starting my next chapter. I am off work that day. I have a meeting with the attorney and then I have to have blood work done in the later afternoon. That morning will be dedicated EXCLUSIVELY to opening up a new chapter in my book! :) I have not officially chosen which chapter I will open.... but I am leaning towards "The Real Fallen Cowgirl". I am still doing research for Sixty Days in the Hole. I am really feeling this story and I really am excited to get this book done!!! I love you momma!!! xxxoooo

RE-search....Research....Research... :)

Yes this book is a memoir and of course based on a true story. Since most of the content is written based on a 60 day stay in ICU with my beautiful mother.... there are facts upon facts that need to be researched. I want my message to be undertsood and more then anything be factual and backed up by tons of research. I am a HUGE believer in complimentary medicine and I am practicing a holistic lifestyle for my health needs. I am doing research on the Hippocratic Oath. Very interesting. Hippocrates was known to be the the father of medicine. “Let Food Be Thy Medicine and Medicine Be Thy Food.” A lot of my research is coming from Dr. Barbara Starfield. She was associated with the John Hopkins School of Public health. Her study "Is US health really the best in the world?" was published in the Journal of the AMA. Here are some of the stasitics: 80,000 deaths per year in the US are from infections aquired in the hospital. 106,000 deaths per year from FDA approved correctly prescriberd medicines 20,000 from errors in hospitals 7,000 deaths from medication errors in hospitals 12,000 from unnecessary surgeries Her information and research is astounding!

This is the 12th century Byzantine manuscript of the oath (The Byzantine Empire was the predominantly Greek-speaking continuation of the eastern half of the Roman Empire during Late Antiquity and the Middle Ages. Its capital city was Constantinople (modern-day Istanbul), originally founded as Byzantium.) The script is written in 'cross form" relating it visually to Christian ideas. If you have ever read or studied the oath...it refers to the physician swearing upon a NUMBER of healing GODS to uphold specific ethical standards. Hmmmm... pagan gods you think??? HAPPY FRIDAY!!!! :)

Happy Thursday...and the beat goes on!! :)

I attended the HayHouse writer's workshop webinar yesterday! WOW! I am so excited. A wealth of information. I am changing my book to a memoir! I am stoked about Balboa , I am looking forward to a wonderful journey with publishing Fish Medicine! Memoir (from French: mémoire: memoria, meaning memory or reminiscence), is a literary nonfiction genre. More specifically, it is a collection of memories that an individual writes about moments or events, both public or private that took place in the author's life. The assertions made in the work are understood to be factual. While memoir has historically been defined as a subcategory of autobiography since the late 20th century, the genre is differentiated in form, presenting a narrowed focus. Like most autobiographies, memoirs are written from the first-person point of view. An autobiography tells the story of a life, while a memoir tells a story from a life, such as touchstone events and turning points from the author's life. The author of a memoir may be referred to as a memoirist. So YAY!!! Create a FABULOUS CREATIVE DAY!!

Today IS A NEW DAY!

Happy Fall... Happy October..... HAPPY HAPPY!! Today I am so excited I have a webinar this afternoon with the CEO of Hayhouse. I am stopping at a Starbucks so I can listen then I will finish up my work and head to the cabin! I forgot something up there that is really important that I need to go get. Actually a few things. One is my Mala bead bracelet from my auntie Karen. I received my mother daughter bracelets yesterday and I need my Mala bracelet! Thank you aunite Karen! I love you!! I workd on one of my Chapters this morning. 60 Days in the Hole. It is a very healing experinece. Last night and most of yesterday I did nothing but research. It really fueled me and motivated me. I also went through the hospital bills for my sweet momma. It brought back a flood of feelings and emotions. All that will unfold in my book. This is necessary. This book is really important. I journaled many moments in ICU. I was going through my musings- wow ..there were things that were said and done that will also be part of the journey.. the story.... that I will share in the pages of unconditional love for my mother. It will be a time of reflection and a time of healing. I will share tidbits of the chapters as it unfolds. Here is a little taste of 60 days in the Hole-

The MIRACLE Journal- It was a long 60 days. But not long enough. This time with my mother was a gift. Every minute that I was with her was a blessing. While seeing what she was going through was gut wrenching and heart breaking, mom made it very clear that she wanted to live. She was a fighter, a warrior. My mother was my rock. If she was choosing to go through this, then so was I. I slept by her side night after night. I took a few breaks due to commitments...like my son Darren graduating from college. For the most part I was there pretty much every morning to talk with the doctors. Now in regard to the doctors, there were many. General surgery, Orthopedic surgery, Intensives’, and Infectious disease and not to mention the PA's, the nurses, and respiratory therapists! It was like waiting for the morning news. How is her white blood cell count?, her blood sugar, her last x-ray, her lung, her leg, her tummy, her blood clot. Thank goodness they served Starbucks coffee in the cafeteria. My brother was really awesome about bringing me up coffee. He knew that if one of us was not there in the morning we would miss the morning news on mom. He and my sister would get up and go have their morning smokes. I hung out to get the news. I pretty much had every doctors name remembered. I also had the schedule down for their rounds. I would text out the info or give an update when we all met up in the room. This was what we did. We did it for mom. This was my life. For 60 days. Then there were those dreaded visits. There were some very optimistic docs and then there were the docs that told you like it is. My mom’s general surgeon was one of the tell you like it is personalities. While I can tell you that being honest may be the best policy….it is not conducive to the healing of a patient. My mother would hear .................. (that is it for now! ) xxxoooo CREATE A FABULOUS DAY!!! Shanti!!

Van Morrison - And The Healing Has Begun

I took a little hiatus and celebrated my birthday this weekend. It was a quiet time up at the cabin. I love this song by Van the Man and felt I needed to add it to my blog. Enjoy.... the healing has begun!

Unveiling of CHAPTERS!

I have unveiled my chapters. I will blog a little about each one as the book progresses. I thought it was going to be easy at this point but when I start thinking about the journey with my mother in her final months ...well I just have a melt down. But that is okay. I am doing research for the book and that is working just fine right now! And the healing has begun!! Here are the chapters: -60 Days in The Hole- Crisis Mode- Fish Medicine- Meet Tobit and Raphael- My Three Uncles- Painted Lady- Shower Slumber- Antibiotics Are Your Enemy- The Real Fallen Cowgirl- Peace In The Valley- Party In The Pines- The Dead Dragonfly- The chapters are not in any order yet.

~KEEP YOUR CHIN UP HONEY~

I was filing my insurance docs for my rental property this evening and this card fell out of my file. This was VD 2009 when I was getting ready to move. I was losing my home to foreclosure. My mom and my aunite Karen were two of the strongest women in my life as I was going through this. They walked me through this loss. Their love and wisdom kept me from going insane. 2008 had been a tough year. I had the heart attack, then I lost my full time status and my health care. The next thing on the list was my home. But I landed on my feet. Change is inevitable. We have no control. When we try to control it...we create chaos! I love you momma! And auntie Karen I am sending you love and healing every day! Thank you for all you did for me. It will be in my heart forever. My mom always had the most healing words when my life was in an uproar. She was my rock. This card is a perfect example of how blessed I was. I had the best momma on the planet! xxxxoooo

Day 4- Creating the Journey!

Today is day four and I am really looking forward to next week. I am signed up for so many Educational, spiritual, inspirational seminars and workshops! Plus I am reading several books. I unveil my chapters this Sunday on my birthday. I will be up at the cabin working on my book. This is such a perfect time of year for me to dive into this!! Writing this book is a huge part of my healing process. The past three months since my momma passed have been incredibly painful. When I think about those sixty days in ICU it literally brings tears to my eyes. I had to be in a better place mentally to really dig in. I have been working on my self. Through surrounding myself with positive energy and really being consistent and disciplined in honoring myself. The Kabbalah has brought me to an even higher level of spiritual understanding. I also signed up for Eckhart Tolle's online courses just last night. I am creating this journey to be one of healing, pleasure, ritual, and spiritual growth. Shanti!!!

Artwork for My Book Cover!

I am so excited that I could not wait to unveil my find! I have been trying to visualize what my book cover will look like. I have seen some awesome artwork of fish. Most of the work that has caught my eye is very tribal looking with bright colors. I thought maybe I could create my own drawing ..it is just a fish right??? Well I drew several fish and they kept looking like a worm. Even my grand daughter asked me ...what is that gramma??? So I decided to put it out to the universe and let it be my guide. Well it worked. And real fast too! Yesterday I was at a thrift store in Fairfield and I wasn't really in the shopping mood. I had looked at all the glass ( I collect handled mason jars with logos for the cabin) and it was incredibly warm in the store. I was walking out and something drew me over to the framed picture area. I walked up to a stack of pictures about 6 deep. When I got to the third one (NUMBER 3!!!) there she was. I went "WOW" out loud. I have not figured out how I will shoot the picture of her for the cover ...but I TRUST that the universe will present me with the ideas! In the mean time ....here she is !

FISH MEDICINE by Desiree Dharma (pen name)

Day 2- Meditate like a Gangster! :)

This book is on my mind all day long. I have visuals of how a chapter should end or begin or how I am going to fully express how I really felt when my mom was nearing her final days. When death is knocking on the door of a loved one, we all react differently. There is no right or wrong way. Sometimes one feels like they need to put the blame on others. When they do this they are ignorant to the fact that the person they are blaming is going through the same thing they are. All of this creates wasted drama at a time that should be held sacred and be embraced with love and peace. It is in those moments that we should find our self in meditation. Detach from the situation and plunge into the wheel of dharma. Bring your self to center by chanting mantras or doing sacred sutras!! In other words MEDITATE like a GANGSTER! In Fish Medicine I will write about the spiritual side of the cycle of birth and death known as The circle of Life. This book is not about religion, but tapping into the spiritual beings that we really are. I will talk about how I was able to go within at times I literally thought I was going to fall apart. So with that said ...I am going to go meditate like a gangster! Happy Tuesday! :)

Here is a link to an excellent and humorous blog on meditating! Enjoy! http://blog.williampainter.com/2014/06/04/how-to-meditate-like-a-gangster/

Day ONE- Activating my Blog

Today is the day! I have started my blog which is a very important tool to aid me in my journey of penning this book. Fish Medicine has been inspired by the loss of my beautiful mother and the journey made as I was by her side for 60 days in ICU. This story is spiritual, emotional, and evolves around one of the most loving and sacred relationships ..... that of mother/daughter. It is planned for twelve chapters and touching on issues from divine guidance to the dysfunctional family and digging deep into the process of grieving, death, joy, and it will feature one funny archangel. While it is based on a true story- the characters names have been changed. I will refer to myself as Diona and my mother as Mayanna. My birthplace will be either Pinedale or Douglas Wyoming. I need to meditate on which one! I will unveil the 12 chapters on my birthday. In the meantime remember..... there are many fish in the sea but you only have one mother! This book is for you MOMMA!!!!